Pee freedom

Feeling much more chirpy today so I promise my updates from now on will not be quite so depressing!

Six o'clock this morning, time to whip out the catheter. It has been an absolute life saver over the past few days. I was worried the removal might hurt. The nurse blocks off the tube - we don't want my pee spraying everywhere do we! Would be a little like that scene from Trainspotting when he shits the bed and the mum insists she takes the sheet to wash. In the tug of war, SPLAT, crap everwhere. Very funny, not sure I would have seen the funny side had a litre of my pee sprayed me, the nurse and the room! By the time I've finished saying "is it going to hurt" it's out! It goes up there quite a long way too, I could see her pulling it out . I don't need to know how it works, i'm just glad it did.

Of course this means I am now actually responsible for taking a pee - shame, I was getting used to the freedom. Ten o'clock comes, I need to pee. Press buzzer in the hope the nurse can help me out of bed and I can use the walking frame to get to the toilet. Fifteen minutes later, he (yes today it is a male nurse) doesn't come. It might be the after effects of the catheter but I feel I don't have as much control as I would normally. I'm starting to feel a little desperate now. Buzz buzz buzz. It's coming up to 30 mins. That scene from Trainspotting is going to be replicated with my pee when my bladder explodes any moment now. I start to call out. Where the hell are the nurses??! FINALLY! He tells me he was attending to the floor downstairs. Those ads about not enough nurses to patients in NSW are obviously true!

"I need to pee NOW! No, I don't have time to get out of the bed and to the toilet. GET ME A BED PAN!!!"

I was partly in hope that in the last 20 years someone, anyone, would have invented a better in situ toilet design for women. Seriously, there must be a better design than that. The height in which you have to raise your arse off the bed, it's a good 4-5 inches. That is a long way when you are so incapacitated you can't get out of the bed and go normally. Please, someone come up with a more comfortable less traumatic way for a woman to take a pee when she is bed bound. It's times like that I wish I just had a dangly thing I could stick into a bottle. You men have it so easy.

What relief though. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

The physio visits, today we try out crutches. Being laid out on my back for approx 14 hrs means I'm a little on the stiff side. So she decides to make me do knee raises and sideways lifts. Fuck off. I'm not doing that. Actually, I can't do that, I have legs made of cement. They ain't raising anywhere lady. I do manage to go about 10 metres on crutches though. That's enough for now. It's time for a treat, a warm shower!

Yay no more bed baths! I have a special shower chair and a special toilet seat raiser chair which I am also hiring for home. It's good to feel the warm water.

Sebby visits, and he arrives in time to witness my next physio session. This time I'm a little more cooperative and give the exercises a go. Didn't quite do 10 reps of each but managed 5. She seemed pleased but looks concerned I'm not making progress quickly enough. I don't think she fully appreciates what I've been through! I also go for another walk, this time to the end of the corridor and back, probably a good 50 metres. I'm knackered by the time I get back. Seb suggests another game of scrabble.

I didn't realise it at the time but he's playing me. He can see I'm a little wrought, a bit spaced. Perfect opportunity to thrash me, and he does. "I love playing you when you're sick". Charming.